I don’t believe in “nice guys” or “nice girls.”
Let me rephrase: I don’t believe in self-proclaimed “nice guys” or “nice girls.”
Stop proclaiming to be nice. You aren’t.
Nice is a subjective term. Nice is a vapid and platitudinous term (or in the words of a favorite rapper, it ain’t saying shit).
Per my online dictionary (the best thing in the world on my computer after Spotify and my photo collection of The Rock):
Nice originally had a number of meanings, including ‘fine, subtle, discriminating’ (they are not very nice in regard to the company they keep) ; ‘refined in taste, hard to please, fastidious’ (for company so nice, the finest caterers would be engaged) ; and ‘precise, strict’ (she has a nice sense of decorum). The popular overuse of nice to mean ‘pleasant, agreeable, satisfactory’ has rendered the word trite: we had a very nice time ; this is a nice room ; he’s a nice boy.
Thusly, word nice has lost its meaning over the years. The dumbing down and deadening of the word has rendered it useless in actual discussion. Check your own conversations. How are you using nice? What does nice mean? I use “nice” to describe how I feel after Pilates, cups of coffe, quiet children, and well-manicured lawns. I also use it in conjunction with “sweet” and “wicked” (darn grad school friends from Boston) to describe jump shots, salty remarks, and my mother’s velvet pound cake. I have a friend who uses the word “nice” to describe men who are living Centaurs (see Boris Kodjoe’s remarks on the last episode of “The Real Husbands of Hollywood” for that reference) and when her children don’t have lice.
Whoever is using the term may not have the same understanding that I do of someone who is “nice.”
Also, people who constantly proclaim to be “nice” protest too much. When you have to consistently say what you are, then you probably aren’t living up to the talk you espouse.
To use that “nice guy” or “nice girl” status as a justification for why they can’t date, don’t get attention, aren’t where they are supposed to be in life is a cop-out. If you use this in every situation, there is one common denominator: you.