Describe the last time you were surprised by the intensity of a feeling you had about something, or were surprised at how strongly you reacted to something you thought wouldn’t be a big deal. I could talk about the searing pain I felt when the numbing medication wore off. Weeks ago, this all happened. But I can remember how it felt to have my eye come back to life and realize that lasers had been pointed in it and a speculum (a tiny one similar to what the gyno uses for a Pap smear) widened it out. I could talk about how I stubbed my toe so hard that I felt the dull ache and piercing throb for a month. But the most intense feeling I remember in my recent memory was opening the door to the hotel room and seeing him standing there with her. His intended. His beloved. His future and legally wedded baby mama. Dreams died in that moment. I remember the intensity of that dream burning before my eyes and seeing the ashes of that dream burn at my feet. I never want to feel like that ever again.

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